I request you to do this for me

Have you ever been in the situation where something or someone annoys you and deeply irritates you and you just brush it off? “No it’s okay, it does’t matter”- heard that before?

I’m here to tell you that it does matter. I learnt the hard way that nothing good comes from bottling up your emotions and trust me I speak from experience. I’m studying my second year of my BA degree in a country away from home specialising in a industry (fashion) which doesn’t breed the nicest of people and I am surrounded daily by people who stress me out. So how do I handle it? I have a lot of friends and I built myself a safety net of my three best friends who I now live with and who I consider my family. This December was when things changed. How you ask?

Well, this December was when I finally let out everything I had locked up and repressed. My seething rage took everyone by surprise as I wasn’t able to control it and due to the sheer intensity of what I was feeling I exploded. I accidentally took it out on one of my friends who had no fault in the matter. Naturally, being a person who usually doesn’t get angry, getting shouted at by me tends to have a major impact on people.

So this is my message to you-

When you are in a particular situation and you feel a certain way just do yourself a favour and express what you are feeling. Don’t ever let what you’re feeling control you and such that you’re blinded by rage and you start to get violent. Understand that there is a huge difference between showing your emotions and acting upon your emotions. When we act upon our emotions it’s considered an impulsive action as we all don’t look at every situation while being completely rational and therefore we forget the consequences of our impulsive behaviour. Being impulsive once in a while is good for you (i.e: taking a sudden trip or an unplanned day at the spa) but be careful of certain situations in which you become impulsive as it could have negative results. 

So feel what you are feeling and let people know how you feel- if they don’t listen then they weren’t worth all your time and effort but when you do find the people who do listen to you… talking about it with them or expressing what you feel will prevent you from imploding or exploding on yourself and others around you and believe me your heart actually feels a little bit lighter!

This concludes my fourth blog post and I hope you liked it and I apologise for the delay!! Feel free to write any comments about the post or your experiences- I look forward to reading them!

Till a later date with lots of love

x

Kind hearted

What you need to know about getting bullied.

I got bullied as a child and somewhere along middle school let’s just say it got really bad and that’s probably where I developed my very first episodes of depression. I got bullied again in my first year of college (I moved away from home!) and relapsed but this time I was formally diagnosed with depression. Getting bullied changes you as a person and I can definitely say that I’m much stronger emotionally than I was before.

As a child I was an extravert, even if you didn’t know me I promise you we’d be the best of friends in five minutes flat! I was also hyper sensitive. For example- Once we went out for a family dinner to a well-known restaurant which unfortunately on that night was under staffed. The service wasn’t up to standard and hence my dad shouted at the man who was served us erratically throughout our dinner. What did I do, you ask? I felt so bad for the man that I cried! For someone who I didn’t even know! That’s when I realised that the price I paid for being an extravert was that I got attached to people and things instantly! Fast forward to 2014 and here I am a person who is unable to cry until I force myself to because I realised that I have now associated crying with being weak. For the sake of self preservation, I have led myself to believe that in order to portray myself as strong I must hide all signs of weakness not realising that acknowledging weakness is the true sign of strength.

Crying doesn’t solve anything but it always helped me reduce the intensity of the emotions I felt within me. For a very long time, I was unable to exhibit anger. I could never raise my voice and hence I never got angry at people just upset or disappointed with them. Therefore, crying was the method I relied on to let my bottled up emotions run free.

So this is my message to those of you who have gotten bullied or are still being bullied-

“As hard as it is, ignore the people who talk behind your back because that’s exactly where they belong- Behind you! Find it in you and try to understand that what other people think of you is none of your business as their image of you isn’t who you actually are! Remember that we all go through experiences that change us as people and we might get teased or bullied for it but that doesn’t make us bad people…..it makes us people who understand that life is like walking on piano keys. There are black keys which denote the sadder parts of our lives and the white keys which represent the happier parts of our lives.

So I ask you- can you walk only on the black keys for the rest of your life? 

Let me tell you that from where I stand, walking only on the black keys won’t result in a beautiful piece of music! Yes, you do need a some sad moments in life to understand the true meaning of the happier ones but remember that you deserve to be happy…so go on….don’t be afraid to let yourself step on a white key once in a while!”

This concludes my third blog post and I hope you liked it! Feel free to write any comments about the post or your experiences- I look forward to reading them!

Till a later date with lots of love

x

Kind hearted

You got this far, didn’t you?

I strongly believe that we as people take ourselves for granted. When was the last time you patted yourself on your back and said “You did good and I’m proud of you and thank you!”….?

If your answer is one in which you don’t remember the last time that thanked yourself then we have a problem. Why? Because everyone loves to be praised and complimented. On one hand you have some people who take praise with confidence while others hide behind the curtain of embarrassment. We might not like to admit it but we all at some point in time have wanted a teacher/parent figure/boss to say “That’s great work you’ve done!” or “I’m so proud of you!”. As we go through the days of our lives we tend to look for praise from outside and we take for granted what we can do for ourselves.

I am the type of person who is very critical of myself (added with depression makes this combination one that equals to a hangover you get the next morning after you tried mixing different types of alcohol- Trust me when I saw been there and done that!) and when it comes to work I’m a grade A perfectionist. So for a very long time I use to view myself in a negative light and hence used to search for other people to praise me. Don’t get me wrong as I’m not implying that I completely love myself and that I absolutely don’t seek out compliments and praise from other people… far from it actually but I can honestly say that I am trying to change the way in which I think about myself.

So I leave you with this-

“The fact that you are trying shows that you care but I would like to add that there is no point in trying if you keep telling yourself that you’re going to lose, that’s like trying to run a race but before it starts you shoot yourself in the foot and hence you are setting yourself up for failure. There is nothing wrong with failure but those voices in your head which say “You can’t do it” or “It is impossible” or “You’re pathetic” feed off your negative reinforced thoughts and make you think that you equal failure which is NOT true! So do yourself a favour and hear those voices and reply saying “No! I am not pathetic and I can do this and this isn’t impossible because I am me! and yes this is hard but I’m going to put that gun down and give myself a fair chance and run as fast as I can because no matter the problem in front of me- I can do it! Because in the end…..you have managed to get this far in life haven’t you?”

This concludes my second blog post and I hope you liked it! Feel free to write any comments about the post or your experiences- I look forward to reading them!

Till a later date with lots of love

x

Kind hearted

I’m on the same boat as you are…!

Have you ever had one of those days when no matter how hard you try you just can’t get out of bed? One of those days when you start to cry but you don’t know the reason why? Or one of those days when everything is going great- you succeeded on a work project, you got promoted, you had a great first date or you came first in your class but you still feel sad and you can’t explain why you feel what you feel…

I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way! I prefer to stay anonymous but you can call me Miss kind hearted and if you haven’t already figured out from the name of my blog or the title of this post…yes, I suffer from depression.

Now I want to tell you something… so listen closely, whether you have depression or have a friend or family member who has depression- understand that life has its ups and downs and having depression doesn’t make it easier but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy! Sometimes, people who suffer from depression are the happiest ones in the room! I’m not saying that I have found the ‘secret to happiness’ and trust me I do have quite of few of my own breakdowns but there is nothing wrong with that.

This is my message to you:

“Understand that you are who you are and that no one else can be you and you can be no one else because everyone else is taken. So take that, use that and become the best person you can be. Believe me when I say that there is nothing wrong about being yourself because when you are yourself- you become genuine and being genuine is being human. 

There is nothing wrong in being human by showing emotion and expressing how you feel and there will be people who leave you but there will also be people who stand by you and then you’ll understand the power of what you feel and you will find strength in your pain and resilience in your determination to stay strong.

Therefore, I applaud you, my friend as you have reached thus far.”

This concludes my first blog post and I hope you liked it! Feel free to write any comments about the post or your experiences- I look forward to reading them!

Till a later date with lots of love

x

Kind hearted